Quotes & Jokes by Richard Pryor / page 3

There's nothing worse than being an aging young person.

I just don't want to die alone, that's all. That's not too much to ask for, is it It would be nice to have someone care about me, for who I am, not about my wallet.

Most people that you talk to, they's intelligent. Like I said, "Most people."

Hawaii is the best form of comfort for me. When I die, I want to be cremated, and I want half my ashes spread in the Pacific around the island, the rest on the property.

I urge you to ask yourself just how honorable it is to preside over the abuse and suffering of animals.

I was kicked out of school because of my attitude. I was not assimilating. So I went to work, taking any jobs I could get.

I had one girlfriend, she had one of them "recto-mies." You know, that's where they scoop the pussy out and leave the box it came in. We got along just fine. She didn't want nothin' from me, and I sure didn't want nothin' from her.

I bought my parents a home before they died, and they got to see that I was going to be all right. They always thought I would go someplace.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

What I am for is justice for everyone, just like it says in the Constitution.

How do you 'accidentally' shoot a nigga in the chest six times? 'Well, my gun fell and just went crazy!'

I live in racist America and I'm uneducated, yet a lot of people love me and like what I do, and I can make a living from it. You can't do much better than that.

Fuckin' is good for you, Jack. Gettin' some pussy beats having a war.

If you want some pussy, you'll talk all that shit with them. 'Hey, yeah, sure,, the cosmos.. sure..'

Friends take up time, and I didn't have time.