Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1052
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. I assumed you were a guy, you might have female parts. I don't know per-say. And I don't mean to call it a per-say, but it might be... with sack.
You know what I do? I steal things. Fuck 'em! I grab a handful of candy bars and six magazines and head for the gate.
How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to their grandma, I'll say, I told her I would die for her, after I found out I didn't have an incurable disease. Then, I ran away while grandma was getting her ass kicked by a pregnant woman that grandpa slept with. You never know when you're making a memory.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.
I can't control what people think this was. I can only tell you my intentions. This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith. Or people of activism or to look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear. They are and we do. But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies.
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!