Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1090
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
If I need directions, I’m not asking a man with one tooth. I’m asking a man with one leg. Because he definitely knows the easiest way to get there.
This horrible decade where all of us men tried to be individual rebels... by wearing the exact same flaming skull on a bedazzled Ed Hardy thermal. I have three of them, I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing with you.
There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
They really cut to the chase in the urologist’s examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.
When God closes a door he opens a window. Sounds to me like someone's on the toilet...