Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1091
Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
Although I love the taste of Nutrageous bars, I am nutraged at their new, high price.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.
When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I break both yer legs.' Is that all? You won't take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign. Legs? Fine. You don't even have to sign anything.
The cop gets to the window and says the same thing that they all say, right, "Do you know why I stopped you?" It was too easy. I looked at him and I said, "'Cause you can smell it."
A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.