Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1143
Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends.
I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game. They are the ones who face it every day.
Well, I think "likability" is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different. Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.
Two words no woman should ever have to hear: Triple Mastectomy.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.
Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
I wish his [Frank Ocean] music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.
No one smart is having a toilet baby. It’s never like ‘Darling you’ll never guess what has come out of my vagina’
We made love, and I thought she had an orgasm. I said, 'Well, did you have an orgasm?' She said, 'Yeah, but I was hoping for a series.'
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.