Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1143
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.
My shrink told me I had an out-of-family experience when I was growing up.
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.
She was wacko. She was an only child, but she still had a sibling rivalry.
When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.
Britain should be in the driving seat of Europe. In the driver's seat, or in the passenger seat. That's good, cuz then you can take a sleep.
Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don’t apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn ‘em and share ‘em. Then come to the show.
The first thing I think of when I wake up is how close I am to death. But then it gets better during the day.