Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1146
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.
It's easy to point the finger at someone else and place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone and start blame placing the shit outta them.
Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
The Bush Administration is always saying, "We don't hear the good news." Yeah, because the journalists are saying, "Cover me, I'm going to the ice machine."
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish.
I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.