Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1234
Skeet shooting is probably more satisfying if you really hate skeets.
The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
I went into a restaurant. The menu said “breakfast any time.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
In honor of Earth Day, tonight’s program will be made up of 100 percent recycled jokes.
According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
You don’t know anything about pain… You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub… And you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.
And my sex life is nothing to crow about. At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy."