Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 844
My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912... well, to make a long story short...
This year, all students WILL be wearing clothes under their graduation outfits or we will press charges!
Is there any indication we shouldn't be depressed? Are you living on the same planet that I am? Do you ever think that depression might be the reasonable human response to the crap we're going through as a species, meant to propel us into the next evolutionary step or, at least, into taking some different course of action, so that we might survive? Do you ever think that maybe it's the happy people that are really screwed up in the head?
Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?
Lance Bass has a new autobiography titled Out of Sync. We don’t need to read it, we already know how it ends - Justin is really successful, and Lance is gay.
You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think it's your reprieve, and you hear 'Hasta la vista, baby.'
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'
Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.