Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 847
[on using gym equipment] I always hate having to use the equipment after these huge buff guys who move, like, the entire rack of plates. Then I get on, and move two plates, you know like: CLANK! CLANK! "I'm the two plate guy!" CLANK! CLANK! "Anyone wanna spot me?" CLANK! CLANK!
Oh Rama, here I go again! Listen to you, sounding like Death Vader. You people need cigarettes as much as this country needs another C-average President. Plus you look like a human Pez dispenser! Here are your cigarettes, and here is some gum so you can blow bubbles for that weird ass hole you have in your neck. And here are some batteries, for your creeping-me-out machine. Now get the fark out of my store! I hope I am reincarnated as a turtleneck... Thank you for getting that joke!
Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces.
Hanging out with a baby is like hanging out with a really, really small… really, really hammered person all the time. That’s really all a baby is. Just the smallest drunkest person that you ever seen in your life. I found myself talking to my sister’s baby the same way I do a buddy at the end of a Saturday night. It’s the same conversation. It’s just me standing over him going, “What’s wrong dude? Why you crying?”
The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
We're going to look at it again in June, we just want to make sure we when we do increase purses we can sustain it, we wouldn't want to have to go back once we increase it.
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Right now we're teaching them that the game is fun. If they learn it's fun, they always go back to it again in clinics and in schools.
Do you think when Arabs give their kids toy cars, they say “you can only use this once.”?
I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There was not much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato.