Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 868
There have been two different drafts of the script. The hard part about following it up is at the end of the first one, he revealed his identity to his kids. How do you play that out? How does she come back? One of the ideas was that he'd go to New York because his daughter was going to college and he'd be nearby. But as a script, it never worked.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a part of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me.
You don’t gossip while your man is driving. You sit there quietly until you’re about 5 minutes from your destination then you say, "would you like some road head?"
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day...Chlamydia.
I don’t know if this is a nerdy quality or just something left over from my uncle’s alcoholism, but I get obsessed with things very easily, things that don’t matter. I think that is a very nerdy quality to be like, “Oh this thing! I love it and I’m going to learn everything about it real soon.”
My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end.
Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.