Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
When in doubt, I can stare blankly. The rubber face. There's only so many ways you can stare incredulously at the camera and tilt an eyebrow, but that's your old standby: What would Buster Keaton do?
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We’re in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
I don't know about condoms for everyone in porn. But there is a strong case for goggles.
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.
My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
Yeah, I'll take lettuce... tomato... and- I'm sorry, did you just put your balls in my sandwich?
If you want to dry hump someone you don’t know, just act like they were choking.
I wish I could keep a journal. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
