Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1079
I called them and told them we were coming and said I didn't know how many we were bringing. They said bring them all. They said even if they had to get cots and line them all up, they would accommodate us. It's been great.
Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.
People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don't want to have children.
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.
Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.
[If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] How long is a Scottish winter?
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.