Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.
Shouldn't the trophy for the Grammys be a sweet, old lady giving you a pie?
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
"Where there is a will there is a way" is an old true saying. He who resolves upon doing a thing, by that very resolution often scales the barriers to it, and secures its achievement. To think we are able, is almost to be so - to determine upon attainment is frequently attainment itself.
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
Given human nature, as far as I'm concerned, I think each of us should have a legal option before we are forced to be included in mankind.