Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.
Hey I was just wondering. Are you doing push ups with your knees down? Because I’m not sure if this is working out.
I don't care if you laughed at that or not, the next time you hear that shit, you're gonna be like, "Haha. That Dane Cook is a silly bitch!"
Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.
My Gran said to me, “Young men of today just aren’t as polite and charming as they were when I was young”.<br /> I had to explain, “That’s because they aren’t trying to fuck you now.”
The views expressed by me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact me.
Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can’t the rest of us make them go away?!
Light travels faster than sound. Isn't that why people appear bright before you hear them speak?
"Where there is a will there is a way" is an old true saying. He who resolves upon doing a thing, by that very resolution often scales the barriers to it, and secures its achievement. To think we are able, is almost to be so - to determine upon attainment is frequently attainment itself.
Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers.
The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it’s not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They’re not living their lives via platforms. They’re living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct.