Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro-life, pro-war, pro-gun, pro-death penalty Christian.
The views expressed by me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact me.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers.
The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."
This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
If history repeats itself I'm hopeful that I can get out of it with a note from my shrink.
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
This one guy said, "Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt." I said, "Yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently!"
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.