Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
This one guy said, "Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt." I said, "Yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently!"
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? "Get out there and play like horny old ladies!"
I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
It's the greatest when your girlfriend says to you, "dude... you need to go and get laid."
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.