Quotes & Jokes about Christmas / page 3
You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.
I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.
I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Kiefer Sutherland is spending the holidays behind bars, so for Christmas he’ll need crossword puzzles, stationery, magazines, a cork and a rape whistle.
I had a great Christmas. I received a lot of presents I can’t wait to exchange.
There's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world.
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!"
My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go sometime in December.