Quotes & Jokes about Christmas / page 3
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.
Kiefer Sutherland is spending the holidays behind bars, so for Christmas he’ll need crossword puzzles, stationery, magazines, a cork and a rape whistle.
I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.
There's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
I had a great Christmas. I received a lot of presents I can’t wait to exchange.
If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!"
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
Christmas is a time for joy, love and peace. And a giant spike in the suicide rate. My father had all the christmas joy sucked out of him by his cruel, vindictive mother because his drunken partying father sucked all the christmas joy out of her. Fa la la la la, la la la la.