Quotes & Jokes about Gays / page 2
It’s hard to know what’s gay in life. Boxing. That’s two men fighting over a belt.
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
The law against sodomy is trying to stop homosexual men from enjoying themselves. That's what the law is all about. But this is stupid. What do you do according to the law? You find two men enjoying themselves sexually. You arrest them and throw them in... prison? That outta do it.
The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Gay people speak each others language in a way that we don’t as heterosexual people. You meet a girl. Initially, you want to fuck her. She don’t want to, because she’s a girl… With gay guys that’s a meeting of the minds. Being gay is like walking into a shoe store and like,"Sir, do you have a size 10?" and the guy says, "They’re all size 10s!"
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.
In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show...
I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house...
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.
I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
I couldn't possibly explain why the common person would be against something like that. It's all rooted in sexual hang-ups. The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society. I don't know why anyone would want to get married heterosexually, so why they'd be against homosexual marriage is flummoxing. I only use that word when I'm talking to someone from the British press.
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.