Quotes & Jokes about Language / page 2

34 quotes

I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.

There is no such thing as bad language: it's just our morals that are fucked.

Gay people speak each others language in a way that we don’t as heterosexual people. You meet a girl. Initially, you want to fuck her. She don’t want to, because she’s a girl… With gay guys that’s a meeting of the minds. Being gay is like walking into a shoe store and like,"Sir, do you have a size 10?" and the guy says, "They’re all size 10s!"

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

If we can teach sign language to monkeys, then shouldn't deaf people be awesome at gymnastics?

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He’s been speaking French for a while now, but he’s talking about doing his act in German. Haven’t the German people suffered enough?

Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.

Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French looking girl. She was a bilingual illiterate -- she couldn't read in two different languages.

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using "hermeneutics", when they meant "heuristic".

My grandfather, mother and father were gifted verbally, and my mother passed that along to me. She always made sure I was conscious of language and words.

For those of you who don't speak French, by the way, all of that was fucking funny.

Even if you didn't see the movie, you'd see two words you'd never seen put together before - comedy and Muslim. Comedy is friendly - it's the least offensive word in our language.