Quotes & Jokes about Men / page 3

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

It's because of men like you that women like that fuck guys like me.

That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

There are two types of men: those who are intimated by a girl like me, and those who are not. You don't have to like me, but you don't have to be a dick about it. And after a lifetime of dealing with this, I'm pretty well-equipped, verbally, to cut anyone down at any time.

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: "Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back."

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

If God didn't want men to hunt, he wouldn't have given him plaid shirts.

I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.