Quotes & Jokes about Neighborhood / page 2

46 quotes

One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.

Tiger Woods is a billionaire. Do you know how much ass you can get with a billion dollars? I know guys with $20 and a pack of Newports who'd try to screw your whole neighborhood.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.

All my life I was a class clown, church clown, neighborhood clown. And I took a shot after my divorce. She pushed me and I took it.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.

He's a real loser. He moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the Welcome Wagon.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.

We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their kids will turn into one of them. And now, through the magic of MTV, damned if it didn't turn out that way!

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.