Quotes & Jokes about Women / page 3

66 quotes

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.

It is some beautiful women in Atlanta. Well, let me tell you, I don’t, I don’t know what ya’ll doing in the water, oh, you women down here are so fine, you can look at a woman with your girl, she would be like, yeah, you’re right, go ahead. She is gorgeous, do it, that’s it, that’s all you get.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

Women do fool around. But the reason they don’t get caught is that when a woman mess with a man he lives cross town, out of town. Fellas we mess with next door neighbor, co-worker, wondering why she found out.

I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

It’s a secret, religious, weird, ceremonial rite of passage for girls that women know. Hopscotch, it was bizarre for boys, ‘cause they never played it, and as a boy, I was behind walls, going, “What- what happened? What did they do? What do they do here?” And they had a track laid out with numbers, mystic numbers- 1, 5… 7, 8, you know… A bit of a broken doll there, some girl keeping lookout with a skipping rope…

The one thing women love more than money is power.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don’t.

That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

It's because of men like you that women like that fuck guys like me.