Quotes & Jokes about Women / page 4

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

Women are like potato chips. They better come with my fucking sandwich.

Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That's scary. If the smartest guy in the world can't figure out women, we're screwed.

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say ‘find your masculine side?’ And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I’m not interested.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.

Do you know? What the fuck do women want? l know what you want: everything.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate'. For me that would be a shroud.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.