Quotes & Jokes about Women / page 4

Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That's scary. If the smartest guy in the world can't figure out women, we're screwed.

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say ‘find your masculine side?’ And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I’m not interested.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don’t.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate'. For me that would be a shroud.

Do you know? What the fuck do women want? l know what you want: everything.