Quotes & Jokes about Women / page 4

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don’t.

It’s a secret, religious, weird, ceremonial rite of passage for girls that women know. Hopscotch, it was bizarre for boys, ‘cause they never played it, and as a boy, I was behind walls, going, “What- what happened? What did they do? What do they do here?” And they had a track laid out with numbers, mystic numbers- 1, 5… 7, 8, you know… A bit of a broken doll there, some girl keeping lookout with a skipping rope…

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Women are like potato chips. They better come with my fucking sandwich.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.

Do you know? What the fuck do women want? l know what you want: everything.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate'. For me that would be a shroud.