Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1076
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
My father said, "Bring along your best girl." This is something you say to a pimp!
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there was some girl I saw walking up Holloway Road in Islington who had this long languid walk and I thought, that's what I like, so I incorporated her walk into mine.
Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
I am sick of deconstructing their propaganda, because it's pretty much the same as it's always been. It's just repeating something over and over again until we believe it and we hope that you believe it.
I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.
It's the greatest when your girlfriend says to you, "dude... you need to go and get laid."
I understand dildos: not everybody has fifteen inches of dick to swing around to scare the children.
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
In spite of the poor economy, almost 70 percent of Americans occasionally splurge on luxury items - like a blanket on a plane, or a peanut.