Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1106
The average airplane is 16 years old, and so is the average airplane meal.
Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police.
The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job. Especially if you’ve got hay fever.
I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I’m surprised she hasn’t joined them!
You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It's the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting.
RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they’ve launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.