Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1131
Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing no worries next”.
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I’m surprised she hasn’t joined them!
It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.
Founding Fathers didn't worship Jesse James or Al Capone. Protect yourself but gun reform will save murders and suicides in the long run.
The Oscars is really I guess the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party. And it's exciting for the stars as well because it's the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner.
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
If the Fed ceases hiking, against the backdrop of still rising commodity prices, then the Australian dollar will have few reasons for resisting any topside advances.
[taking a vacation with his family in Costa Rica]<br /> I go "what is it?" And she goes "we're going on a shark feeding frenzy!" Okay, wait... we're in a boat looking down in the water? "No, that's the best part! We're in the water with the sharks!" And I go "have you lost your mind???"
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.