Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1221
I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!
I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with.
Per capita - just about everyone has no idea what a ‘capita’ is.
If you believe drugs don’t do anything good for us, do me this favor willya. Go home tonight, take all your albums and tapes and burn ‘em. Because the musicians who made all that great music… real fucking high on drugs. Shit, the Beatles were so high they let RIngo sing a couple of tunes.
I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing so I bought the album.
It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism.
One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat!!"! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.