Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 248
Why would you hire MTV to do music? MTV has nothing to do with music, ok? MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken. MTV is video, and video goes where? In your eye, music goes in your ear. Ear eye, eye ear, big fucking difference! Music is like a drug, when you hear it you have a vision, and that vision can change over time or remain the same.
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
That was funny, yet sad. Kind of like getting tit-fucked by a clown.
I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
When the show don't be funny, I take my dick out and piss. This is called The Garden Row.
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.
Today in New York City, Sarah Palin had a meeting with Donald Trump. Now, experts say if those two joined forces on a Presidential ticket it would be the greatest gift ever given to comedy.
A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief."
Peter Hyams - and these are his words, it sounds a little self-serving, sharing them from me - his suggestion was that Gabriel and I could lend a credibility, acting-wise, to an otherwise big, sloppy studio action film.