Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 612
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.
The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
The second piece of news is something that I would imagine most people have heard about by now. Arrested Development got picked up for a third season.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.
Abraham Lincoln, who said, "A house divided... is a condominium." Never got a dinner!
Carrot Top will be doing a show about the history of ancient trunks. Gallagher will be smashing ancient fruit.
You must study their deliveries, their use of their bodies, their timing, and their use of audio and vocal effects.
Just because she’s singing about drugs, doesn’t mean she’s doing them. Ricky Martin sings about girls all the time.
How did Dr. Drew become the only psychologist who appears on tv. Did he sign an exclusive with CNN?