Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
It's tough having the last name Rickles. Luckily, my kids handled it great.
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.
I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".
No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
It’s a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
It's all dangerously true. It'd be nice if something worked out for me, and then I'd have to get material out of that.