Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.
When people talk about wanting to "have children someday," what they really mean is that they want babies. Nobody wants an angry adolescent. Nobody wants an obnoxious seven-year-old trying to wear out dirty words they just learned in school that day. What they really want is cute, adorable babies who love you and need you. The bad stuff is just the price you agree to pay for having the good stuff.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Black people late by nature. There's some slaves still on their way over here.
She was so helpful and so sweet and so giving. I call it the food-poisoning effect. Everybody knows where they got food poisoning. We take that first bite and there's kind of an awful taste or a bad smell. You knew it was a little off, but you just kept going.
Although to be fair, cherry picking isn't quite what we do. Cherries are sweet and delicious. What we do is more turd mining. And I'll thank you to give our work the respect it deserves!
I went to this restaurant last night that was set-up like a big buffet in the shape of a ouigi board. You'd think about what kind of food you want and the table would move across the floor to it.