Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
Queen Elizabeth, who said, "Not now, I'm on the throne." Never got a dinner!
I don't see myself getting married again, but if I do, it will be forever.
Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
The way I see it, the earth is going to be here after we're dead and gone. Even if it's a polluted planet, and they messed it up. Where do they go from here - to another planet so they can mess that up too?
That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
If you stretched the average person’s intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns.
I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that.