Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.
For a British person to enter British Heaven, you basically have to die completely unnoticed without causing too much of a kerfuffle.
We are in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
Acceptance and forgiveness are crucial components to a happy life and hopefully I can find mine in storage.
Oh look an ATM! Ok here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
The United States of America will fare well so long as it has enough water to let it go to waste, both literally and figuratively. And he imagines how someone from an impoverished third-world nation must react to our collective nonchalant wasting of water, or of throwing money into fountains.
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.