Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
I've always run by the hierarchy of "If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something."
One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was "No hugs!" Full House was all based on hugs.
I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.
I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their house have wheels.
My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.
I wasn't feeling it, really. But I just had to do what I had to do. It turned out the better for me.
These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
Thanks to the notion of dysfunction, every zipperhead in this country can tap himself with a Freudian wand and go from failed frog to misunderstood prince.
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Jeez, you'd think the people in this bank had never seen someone playing castanets before.
I say to my son, 'What are you going to be for Halloween?' He goes, 'I'm going to be Frankenstein.' And I say, 'OK.' Halloween comes, he walks downstairs, he's got, like, an old suit jacket of mine on, old suit pants, his face is painted green.... I say, 'What are you supposed to be?' He goes, 'I'm Frankenstein!' I said, 'No, you're not. You are the creature. Frankenstein was the doctor who invented the creature. It's a common literary mistake, but you just made it, my friend. Go upstairs and change.'