Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 647
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife? Bullshit! You covet his wife, his house, his car, and his pool. You know why? Because he's coveting every inch of your shit, pal!
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.
For the level of entertainment you get for the ticket, it's a solid show.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
I fell in love with the right person, a person I know and who knows me.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!