Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 901
I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, "I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop!" Never got a dinner!
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing.
The only reason I did "Showtime" was Robert De Niro. I definitely consider him to be in the top 5 all time actors.
It’s important to spend time with them... I want my grandchildren to be brought up the same way I raised my children.
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn’t stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.
We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.
Okra is the closest thing to nylon I`ve ever eaten. It`s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
I always wanted to write a book about you Cynthia, but somebody beat me to it. He wrote The Hounds of Baskervilles.
I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, "Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!?" And Batman said, "Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through." Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.