Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 965
Crazy? ... Maybe. But that's a good kind of crazy. It's a guy who knows what he wants.
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.
My thinking is, if we're setting out to make comedy in which nothing is off limits, then everybody is fair game.
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
These times are much franker. For example, in the first movie we have to assume that the daughter and the son-in-law who got married were lovers before they got married. That could never have been in the '50s.
Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he’s in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.
I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
I love performing in front of all you wonderful people. But really, this isn’t all that. What I really want is my own show. But the BBC have very strict guidlines about ethnicity. Apparently I’ve got to wait for Lenny Henry to die.
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"
In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you.
The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.
I think you are looking at sexuality and not attributes, and I think it's odd because the conservative mantra is a meritocracy. And I think what you're suggesting is the fact that being gay parents makes you not as good as others. And I would suggest that a loving, gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day of the week.