Quotes & Jokes by Brett Butler

I was married to a subliterate, terra-cotta-toothed imbecile with violent tendencies.

I wanted to be a general manager. I wanted to kind of run the show, wanted to get out there and get into the nuts and bolts of finding the talent and trying to coordinate putting the club together and doing the scouting part of it and go through the whole thing.

There's something very weird and abnormal about my particular quest to do stand-up; it's very isolating and self-important.

I'm so Southern I'm related to myself.

Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't.

A female president - maybe they'd start calling it the Ova Office.

There are no accidents. God's just trying to remain anonymous.

Instead my life has been like being mashed and mashed through a wine press until finally there will be nothing left but the desire to live by divine will, knowing what I'm really supposed to do and doing it.

I feel really grateful to have been part of what I considered a good TV show.

Initially, he was a little apprehensive. I think now he's a lot more relaxed. He's like a duck to water, though he can play anywhere.

'I hate to do this, but the organization is going in a different direction,' but that everything I did was fine.

Revivals used to come to town. They would ask who wanted to be saved and I’d march right to the front. It was then I knew I was destined for a career in show business or at least alcoholism.

I have more love in me than not, I have more hope in me than not, and I have more faith than I used to. I just want to get out of the way of what I've been given, so I can do it right.

I hate bigots so much it makes me one.

The beginning of my sin, if you will, was thinking that it was all a mistake and that I absolutely didn't deserve any of it. I'll tell you, bringing down my own creation that way was as grandiose a way of playing God as you could imagine.