Quotes & Jokes by Flip Wilson

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

What you see is what you get.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

The devil made me do it.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Most drag impersonations are a drag. But everyone can like Geraldine. The secret of my success with Geraldine is that she's not a put-down of women. She's smart, she's trustful, she's loyal, she's sassy. Most drag impersonations are a drag. But women can like Geraldine, men can like Geraldine, everyone can like Geraldine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.

It's later than it's ever been.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?