Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 2


I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course.

Holy Jesus in heaven! it's a giant Q-tip.

If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!

Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger.

People need motivation to do anything. I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation.

Before I do anything, I think, well what hasn't been seen. Sometimes, that turns out to be something ghastly and not fit for society. And sometimes that inspiration becomes something that's really worthwhile.

The money can be a hindrance to someone like me because the danger is that you start thinking, "Is that a $20 million take?" That kind of thing, and being self-critical.

So, what's your tale, Mother Goose? Where ya from?

Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!

I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that its not the answer.

If you've got a talent, protect it.

One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.