Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 2


Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.

If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

People need motivation to do anything. I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation.

The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!

Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!

One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.

Holy Jesus in heaven! it's a giant Q-tip.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

The money can be a hindrance to someone like me because the danger is that you start thinking, "Is that a $20 million take?" That kind of thing, and being self-critical.

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.

Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? Aaaalrighty then.

I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course.

It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?