Quotes & Jokes about Pain

28 quotes

You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.

I don't drink to get happy or to forget the pain. I drink to stop the voices in my head. Do you know what's so bad about them, they stutter. Ddddave... Kkkikikill your papapaparents!

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

"I stood on a stone fish once." "Oh yeah, how was it?" "Worst fucking pain known to man." "Have you known a lot of pain?" "Aye, I fell off my bike once."

I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: "I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!"

Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it's all you can do to take a breath? It's a pain you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy; you wouldn't want to pass it on to anyone else for fear he or she might not be able to bear it. It's the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you've fallen in love. It's not as serious as death, but it feels a whole lot like it, and as I've come to learn, pain is pain any way you slice it.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you’ll find it begins to move on after a while.

Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.

For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal - but I look at myself as a reporter. If you can report on anything that has to do with pop culture, then why can't I make jokes about it? Yes, it hurts. But I figure that laughter sometimes starts from pain. You might wince, but then I know that I'm doing my job. The only thing I can do wrong is not be funny.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.