Quotes and Jokes by Sandra Bernhard

Sandra Bernhard is an American actress, comedian, singer, and author. She first gained attention in the late 1970s, with her stand-up comedy in which she often bitterly critiqued celebrity culture and political figures.

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 87)

#1

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

34
#2

Ellen's very mad at me. She's says if I want to start a war in the press, she's not the person to start with.

17
#3

My father was a proctologist; my mother was an abstract artist. That's how I view the world.

14
#4

Madonna's got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

7
#5

When you're collaborating with somebody who's got a lot of stuff they haven't worked out yet, you're working out their vision as well.

6
#6

They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.

6
#7

Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.

6
#8

I am always hoping to do another CD. This atmosphere has been difficult.

6
#9

There will come a day when Anne Heche will be straight again.

5
#10

I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

5
#11

The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

4
#12

New York has always been a sense of eclectic kind of freedom and expression on a lot of different levels.

4
#13

I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.

4
#14

Purim, one of my favorite holidays. It's like the original drag queen's holiday. It's when all the Jewish men go for it and feel no guilt for a change.

3
#15

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?

3