Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets...
I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either.
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.
Do you think Americans deserve healthcare? Have you looked at this horrible fat fuck country?
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.