Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough.
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
Bush didn't really win on his popularity last time. He won on scaring people that Kerry might do something stupid like, I don't know, sell the ports to the Arabs.
People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don't want to have children.
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
