Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
True love is when you’re cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!
I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.
You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
A squirrel is the same as a can, when there’s a bb gun in my hand. Can’t you see that I am just a man? With distinctions… and comparisons.
You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.