Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
I am often the one they call “You,” but I am no more “You” than you. I am me. And yet I am more “Me” than you are me or can ever be.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
It's nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here. Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.
My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion.
But there was something really serendipitous that was happening, with some kind of energy that things would ultimately just work out, sometimes better than when you plan.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
True love is when you’re cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!
I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time.
I’ve always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it. Not because he invented the Internet. Because he did. But because he just signed up for Match.com.
It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.