Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We’re in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Sorry, Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someones getting hurt.
When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.
You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.
It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like "no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle".
Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.