Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1078
There is no "I" in "Team", unless you count the vertical part of the "T".
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.
Seems the first person to call someone a whore is usually another whore.
If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
A lot of times when a package says Open Other End, I purposely open the end where it says that.
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.