Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1206
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
I just don't feel like you're right for me... sorry, just talking to myself.
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance. Otherwise, the human race might as well just roll over and let another species for a while. I think it will be the cats. Watch 'em. They're cooking up something.
Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
You have to just marvel at the stun-gun absurdity of fighting to the death over what happens after you die.
I'm not a racist. It's really case by case; it's not ethnicity specific. It's just the way I react to things that are different. I think that's normal. Everyone's nervous when they're confronted with things that they don't understand or are different. That's a normal human reaction. It doesn't become racist 'til you say things like, 'Oh, there's a lot of them.'
I think we all remember that those first months after the attack, this country really was a very different country. I think we were ready to do anything. I think we would have marched into hell behind this guy... I think nobody in a position of leadership, not the Democrats, not the president, asked anyone in this country to rethink or redo anything. The most they asked us to do was to keep the economy going, to shop and go see shows again and travel.