Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 218
That's not a stereotype - French people reek. French people don't wash their ass. We wash our ass in this country. That should be our logo: 'The United States of America: We wash our ass.'
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
If I don’t die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare opportunity to watch a great talent grow.
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.
I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.
Republicans have become the party of red, white and blue rose colored glasses. By drowning out criticism with USA! USA!, they prevent this country from healing itself where it needs healing, and that is the opposite of Country First.
My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put together a comic impression. It takes time to recognize the tics. Right now, for instance, I could do a dead- on Paul Ryan and people wouldn't recognize it. Personalities take a while to sin...
I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.