Quotes & Jokes about Coffee / page 3
We're all a little bit hypocritical and we could all help people more than we do. You know you're sitting there watching TV, it's late at night. Then you hear: "For $9 a week, you could help this starving child." Everyone has the $9, but how do you not give it to them? You gotta rationalize it somehow. You just go, "Ehh that kid doesn't look that hungry to me. Shit he's got a bigger belly than I do. How you can you feed a kid for $9 a week, that's impossible! Shit a Low-Fat, Low Carb latte is $4.50. Whats that kid gonna do with 2 giant cups of coffee? I'm actually doing him a favor not giving him any money, because there's nothing worse than being wide awake and starving. You're welcome Haboopoo."
I don’t like people who drink decaf coffee it’s like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That’s like drinking non alcoholic vodka.
I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!
Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
I said, 'That's the wrong drink.' And he said, 'Sorry, dude, I'm tired.' And I was like, 'Have a frickin' coffee, man. That's why I'm here.'
Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America.
The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you’re talented.
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth!" Here's your sign!
I'm having my house repainted and we have a piano in the corner and the painter says, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "No, that's our coffee table; it just has buck teeth. Here's Your Sign."
Why is it, when I have nothing to do, I drink more coffee? It's as if I'm in a big hurry to get nothing done.
Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, "Salt we got plenty. Coffee we need." Never got a dinner!