Quotes & Jokes about Dogs / page 7
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Going to get a dog and name him, "I don't want to live anymore", then walk around calling him.
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.
Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?.. No... as funny as that is, I'm not.
You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words … have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going … "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!"
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they've got great shows, like "Barks & Recreation" and "Game of Bones."