Quotes & Jokes about Driving / page 4
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head - supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.
David Hasselhoff was hospitalized after falling off the wagon again. He probably got used to drinking too much, because for years he never had to worry about driving anywhere - his car drove itself.
I went to see the shuttle go up. There was nobody there; I was the only guy there. Everybody was at NASCAR. Who's your favorite astronaut? If you could only fuck one astronaut, who would it be? Mission specialist Blabadahdah? But NASCAR, now that's something different. 'Cuz goin' to outer space - that's for nerds. But driving quickly in a circle... hmm, who isn't wet?
I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me. Those were the days.
Cause he's driving 200 miles an hour & he don't have the luxury having his wife sitting right there telling him how to drive.
Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!
All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you’re going? I don’t even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard… Some people slow down at those things… I don’t slow down. I speed up and set the high score.
I don't like letting my friends drive drunk, but I was smoking a joint I really couldn't say shit to the guy.
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
"What would Jesus drive?" I don't know about you, but I always picture my God having a driver. Well, Jesus would naturally have an SUV, cause He always had those twelve idiots hanging around, making Him change shit into food every four and a half minutes. "See the cigarette? It's a fish. Leave me alone."