Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1049
Listen, I would call the French scum bags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."
I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
(While teaching his son to play baseball):<br /> "We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts."
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called "The Right Hand Stuff". I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
According to a British poll, you've only got a one in five chance of achieving your childhood career ambition. Which probably explains why you don't run into that many cowboys, princesses, or space rangers.
If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me.