Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1177
A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
You might be a redneck if you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
I hated my last boss. He asked, “Why are you two hours late?” I said, “I fell downstairs.” He said, “That doesn’t take two hours.”
You always think another time would have been ideal for you... the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"