Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 1180
But the one recurring motif in these [80s] videos that I wish would come back were the bands that could rock so hard, they could change the physical properties of things. They would blow holes through walls or they’d walk up to your crappy Geo and go - SCRIBBLY FLABBIDY DOO - and all of sudden it’s a sleek Lamborgini.
I once felt bad because I had no blog, and then I met a man who had no podcast.
George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... <br /> George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!
But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.
If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit.
Nightmares are killing me so I'm going to sleep doing impressions.
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get a hold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly.
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
But don't you hate it, guys? You're at the beach and there's no place to change into your trunks. So you wrap a towel around yourself, so no-one sees your face.
I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."