Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 608
Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between "You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry," and "Don't scream."
It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Race baiters and discriminators may go underground, but they never move out of town.
All TV is, is really: "Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that." There's nothing really in the middle.
Taping yourself and making yourself listen to the tape of each performance no matter how bad is really important. There's always a nugget line or a direction pointed out to you in even the worst show.
I’ve started to get this feeling that I’m totally, totally fucked.
Venus Williams has brought something different to the women’s game – male genitalia.
I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.
Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.
Being black and speaking properly are not mutually exclusive. My father was an African, and he spoke beautifully at home. Nelson Mandela speaks beautifully. Should Mandela put his hat on backwards and say, 'Yo, homey, this is Nelson. Yo, Winnie, yo, this is def'?
Mainstream culture is like your mom: It’s always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well.
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?.. No... as funny as that is, I'm not.