Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 629
Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.
My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.
I think some teams shied away because of it, ... But Minnesota stuck with me and I was happy about that.
I have always tried to use humour to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.
Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary "lift".
Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
Then she doesn't say anything. She waits. It brews in her head like a little El Nino. She calls me 4am. Not even a call, a fax. That's worse. It's jarring. It's right next to my head, nothing's worse. 7 page fax. First one has just got a big F on it. I don't like where it's headed.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.
It sounds like I'm always being facetious. That's why I never get voice over work. 'You sound like you hate the product.'