Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 818
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?
My brother Darryl, he's the manager and I'm like this is going to be awesome because my bro, manager, is going to hook me up, he was a dick! He thought he was the Burger King, you know what I'm saying? He would put me on drive through every single night. Why do people insist on yelling at the drive through?
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?
Last night my wife and I had an amazing, simultaneous panic-attack.
If I knew as a young man what I know now I still would have felt lost.