Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 817
You might be a redneck if you call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.
Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
If anybody comes up to you and says, "My kid is a conservative - why is that?" you say, "Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?"
We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was extremely loved. We always felt we had each other.
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her, she says "Tut, Tut!"
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!
I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you're still really paranoid afterwards. It's fun entertainment.