Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 985
Crazy? ... Maybe. But that's a good kind of crazy. It's a guy who knows what he wants.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.
A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was "strudel."
Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.
The term "Big Brother" is from George Orwell's book "1984" - where everyone’s watched over by a network of cameras called Big Brother. I’ve never understood why Orwell chose that phrase for somebody watching you all the time. Isn't that more like "Creepy Uncle"?
They got this program called Intervention. White people get on planes and boats and buses then go all the way across country to save the one muthafucka in the family who’s on crack. Black people don’t do shit like that. If you’re on crack, that’s your business.
My thinking is, if we're setting out to make comedy in which nothing is off limits, then everybody is fair game.
Hey, is there a new critically acclaimed movie called “Other People”? Because that’s what I want to see.
One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.
The notebook. Yes, as you know Garofalo's a little forgetful. Has to bring her notebook. Between the Nutrasweet and the Fen-phen, I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch at this point. I gotta have a thing happening here because I don't wanna forget what I wanna discuss with you. I owe you that much.