Comedy Quotes & Jokes / page 987
You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?'
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You know you can't just run and shoot people in the knee-caps with double barreled shotgun 'cause you're pissed at them.
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.
Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
I think you are looking at sexuality and not attributes, and I think it's odd because the conservative mantra is a meritocracy. And I think what you're suggesting is the fact that being gay parents makes you not as good as others. And I would suggest that a loving, gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day of the week.
I can't think of a worse place to be, without a passport, without any money, ... Then you'd be really screwed.
Life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
My neighbor's pit bull just attacked their baby. Their kid is fine. But the baby's dead.
If I don't take anything that I say seriously only an idiot would.