Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 2


It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens.

Kids will spend $500 on sneakers but won`t spend $200 on "Hooked-on-Phonics".

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop...

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Thank you for remembering me. I'm also happy to be accepting this trophy before I become incontinent.

You know my father's favorite game? "Come here and pull my finger."

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.