Quotes & Jokes about Language

34 quotes

The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you", but "It's benign".

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They must be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven... bad words.” That’s what they told us, right? You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious. It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to.

Politically correct is the language of cowardice.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they're out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.

The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.

I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language.

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using "hermeneutics", when they meant "heuristic".

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like "We have to get rid of dictators", but he's pretty much one himself.

"Equestrian," by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought "Brokeback Mountain" should have been called "Two Equestrians."